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Dear Santa: Funny Christmas Greeting Card

Funny Christmas Greeting Card from NobleWorksCards.com - Dear Santa
Dear Santa Card - Alt Image
Funny Christmas Greeting Card from NobleWorksCards.com - Dear Santa
Dear Santa - Dim Image
Dear Santa - Inside Image
Dear Santa - Envelope Image
Dear Santa - Back Image
Dear Santa - Lifestyle Image
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Item #: 1087
15 Reviews
Cover Reads:
Dear Santa, You must be surprised that I am writing you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month, when, filled with illusion, I wrote you a letter and asked for a bicycle an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brin studying this year. I had the best grades in school and no one in the neighborhood behaved better than me. I went on errands for my parents, I helped the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity. What balls you have for leaving me a fucking yo-yo, a lame whistle, and a pair of ugly socks. What the fuck were you thinking, you fat prick? As if you hadn't fucked me enough, you gave that little shit across the street so many toys he can't even walk into his house. Don't let me see you trying to fit your big, fat ass down my chimney next year. I'll fuck you up. I'll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you'll have to walk back to the north pole, you fat slob. Fuck you, santa. next year you'll find out just how bad I can be, you fat cocksucker. Sincerely, Johnny
Inside Reads:
Have A Badass Christmas.
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Occasion: Christmas

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Little Johnny received crap presents. Little Johnny was enraged by his crap presents. Beware of Little Johnny and his letter to Santa: He suffers from conduct disorder and has antisocial tendencies. So, everyone should be a little on edge. That includes you, fat man.

Everyone remembers being pissed at Santa at some point when they were younger. Like when that awesome blue bike turned into wool knee socks. Or those new, talking dolls turned into a hideous argyle sweater. How did that fat bastard get it soooo wrong?

Well, Johnny's not going to take it sitting down. This Dear Santa Letter from Little Johnny was written on December 26th, when rage and disappointment replaced milk and cookies and blinded Little Johnny’s limited, slightly mentally ill perspective. Johnny writes: “What balls you have for leaving me a fucking yo-yo, a lame whistle, and a pair of ugly socks. What the fuck were you thinking, you fat prick?”

This naughty Dear Santa card is laugh-out-loud hilarious and is a perfect gift for anyone who remembers the bitterness of disappointing Christmas mornings. A funny Christmas card is much better than a lame whistle or dumb-ass card. Don't be the jerk who gets your friends a bullshit snowflake card. Get them NobleWorks’ funny Christmas cards and our infamous Dear Santa Christmas card instead.

As if you couldn’t guess, we care about the environment. Duh, doesn’t everyone? That’s why the paper stock we use in these cards come from well-managed forests and post-consumer recycled fiber. This card is also clearly printed in the U.S., because no other country is quite this deranged.

Shipping weight: 0.64 oz
Shipping dimensions: 5.38 x 7.38 x 0.2 inches
Name:
Dear Santa
Occasion:
Christmas
Line:
Talk Bubbles
Artist:
NobleWorks Inc
Greeting Card Style:
Regular Version: 5" x 7"
Credit:
Art by NobleWorks
Paper Stock:
Pulp used in the making of this paper came from mixed sources of well managed forests, controlled sources and post-consumer recycled fiber. Printed in the USA.
Introduced:
March 15, 2009
UPC:
745469010879
Availability:
In Stock
PRODUCT REVIEWS
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Review Summary
Dear Santa Card   $4.99
5.0
15 Reviews
5
100% (15)
4
0% (0)
3
0% (0)
2
0% (0)
1
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100% Recommend this product (15 of 15 responses)
By MIKE
california
THIS IS THE BEST CARD EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
November 6, 2023
i HAVE BEEN SENDING THIS CARD FOR A FEW YEARS. EVERYONE WHO GOT IT EMAILED ME
OR CALLED ME TO SAY THAT IT WAS THE FUNNIEST CARD EVER. THEY STILL TALK ABOUT IT EVERY CHRSTMAS WHEN WE TALK.
By Eric
Kalamazoo, MI
One of the best
December 7, 2020
This card is hilarious, although you might want to make sure your audience can handle the verbage.
Pros
  • Funny
Cons
  • None
By Bob
Mission, Tx
Dear Santa Card
November 28, 2020
Funny! I sent this to my daughter who has a sense of humor like mine! She loved it!
Pros
  • Great card for those with a sense of humor.
Cons
  • Not for those who are uptight, or politically correct.
By Frank
Peoria, AZ
Fave
January 13, 2020
Hilarious.. a classic
By bjh
ohio
So Funny!
December 24, 2019
Sent this to my son in the Army. He laugh so hard. And then shared it with his buddies who thought it was hilarious. It really brightened their day. Thanks for your humor!
By Karen
Florida
Excellent quality, fast shipping, and funniest card I've found so far!
December 15, 2019
This is the 2nd year I've gotten my cards from Noble Works. These cards are printed on thicker paper than what I have found in a store and just have an overall higher quality feel to them. I also think they have the best selection of humorous cards. My sister just received hers and said her husband thought it was so funny, he's bringing it to his brother's house to show him.
By Colin
Moyock, NC
Great products
December 7, 2019
I can always find the Christmas cards I want Nobleworks. Great variety, prices and prompt service.
By Kay
Worth, IL
Dear Santa
August 15, 2019
Funniest card I have ever seen!
By Paul I.
Pomona, California
DEAR SANTA CARD
January 4, 2019
This is the best Christmas card I have ever seen ! On a scale of 1 -10, one being worst & 10 being best, I'd rate this card at an 11 ! I send this card to my closest family members who have a great sense of humor. I'll keep getting this card as long as it is produced !
Pros
  • GREAT CARD ! Keeps a mile on my face every time I read it.
By Mimi
Chicago IL
Hysterically naughty
December 30, 2018
I can't remember laughing that hard in a long time. I was actually crying. By myself. Could only buy a few of these because of the language, but it was well worth it. One in a million!
By Vicki
Burlington, MA
A shocker :-)
December 26, 2018
Send THIS card to a friend or family member you know REALLY well & you know has a great sense of humor. A friend I sent this card to said it was "the funniest card he's ever received"!!!
Pros
  • Great for shock value
Cons
  • Not for grandma (unless she's a WILD WOMAN) or someone you don't know well.
By TRA
Illinois
The title 'Dear Santa', misleading. It should be 'I'm Going To F**k You Up Santa'.
December 22, 2018
This card maybe the funniest card ever. I sent 7-8 of these to my friends and they agreed. Several called and asked where I got them. Duh! Go to the web site. Do I get commission?
Happy Holicards!
By Bob
Oceanside, Ca.
Best Card Hands Down!
December 22, 2018
Hilarious. Gotten phone calls from everyone I sent them to saying it's the funniest card they have ever gotten! I Laughed till my sides hurt. It may not be however for certain groups as the profanity is very strong and definitely not for children. It is a card for adults that take no offense to a little swearing!
By David K.
NY
Badass Johnny
November 18, 2018
Love this card- funny as all get out and its printed on high quality paper!
Cons
  • Need more Johnny cards.
By Brian
williamstown, NJ
One of my favorite cards
November 17, 2018
This was one of my favorite cards I bought, there is another card that goes along with it. Hope they turn it into a collection of cards.